“Lets start at the very beginning…a very good place to start…” goes the famous line from one of my all time favourite musicals, The Sound of Music. With the approach of every New Year, we humans, make a huge deal about ‘New Beginnings’…new resolutions, new commitments, new jobs, new lovers, new diets, new plans, new hopes, new dreams…a new Life!
But pause…a deep breath…before we rush to make the first in a litany of new promises to ourselves, our friends and the world in general…consider…are these truly ‘new’ or just ‘renewed’? Cause, be honest, what is a new life, but a renewal of the old? Recycled resolutions, reaffirmed hopes, plans, dreams, renewed commitments to old, incomplete goals, projects, jobs, and people! Ah! Guilty as charged! Although in recent years, the sweeping statements and passionate declarations of my youth, have taken a backseat, I haven’t been able to resist making the same resolutions, if only, in the more subdued tones of my alleged adulthood :). So instead of appearing a fool in front of the whole world, I do so now, only to the one person that matters – ME! How sad that the fact now offers NO consolation!
So recently, with such profound thoughts 😉 occupying my generally distracted mind, I’ve been thinking about how human beings in general and me in particular, ignore the importance of a good ending, except in movies or books, where they are essential, nay, crucial! What got this train of thought started, were a couple of books that began promisingly, only to fizzle out with weak, unsatisfactory endings. You know what I mean! An utter let down! And yet, I continue to ignore and underestimate the value of a proper ending in Life. And by proper, I do not mean fairytale! Nah, am not that naïve! I mean, the feeling that I get, when I know (in my bones) I’m done, I’m through…for better or for worse, this far and no further, generally accompanied or followed, by a sense of moving forward, letting go.
I have begun now to appreciate the importance of a solid ending, in Life, especially my own. An Ending – that says closure, completion, a tying up of loose ends, that allows fresh perspective, clears the air and the mind for the inevitable new beginnings that must follow! Yes, I am grateful for endings 🙂
So now, at the ending of this life-changing, coming-of-age year that was, I am thankful to have survived it all and made it this far, battered and bruised, but stronger and wiser. Thankful for letting go the past, abandoning fractured dreams and hopes and for the ability to recognize the difference between what’s good and what’s good for me! I can honestly say, I’m happy with the way 2009 is ending for me. I have no new resolutions for 2010…the old ones, still linger and will do, but they are not my focus anymore. If 2009, has taught me anything, it is the futility of the ‘best laid plans’.
And so, I surrender, to the ending of this, my 41st year of Life on Planet Earth – tumultuous, life-altering, chaotic. No doubt, 2010 will be identical! Bring it On!