On New Year’s Day, Hubby and I completed 2 decades of marriage! Yup…we’re that ancient 😉 Dinosaurs practically 😛 And yet, when I look back, I can’t imagine it’s been that long! I realized that I’ve known him for 23 years, the same amount of time I knew my parents for before we got hitched! It just seems incredible, wonderful and weird all at once, if you get my meaning! My single days are so far behind me, they seem like a mirage…and now with Ishaan in the mix, they might almost be a distant dream 🙂 A pleasant dream, but distant nonetheless 😉
It’s been one hell of a ride! We met in Medical School and courted for three years before we married. We had, or rather I had a 4-day long, Big Fat Indian Wedding 🙂 Even if I do say so myself, it was quite an event in those days 🙂 One of the first Goan weddings that lasted for more than a few hours on a hot, stuffy afternoon 😛 A lot of people have since come up to me and my parents and shared how much they enjoyed it and remember the food and festivities to this day! It was a chaotic happy time, with the house overflowing with family and friends. A time of eating, drinking, songs and parties 🙂 It was a double celebration since my parents completed 25 years that same year, a couple of days after the wedding! I had ‘henna’ on my hands for the first time in my life and actually suffered a reaction to its fragrance! Or maybe it was just nerves 🙂 Go figure 😉 I remember spending the night before the wedding curled up next to my brother (he was 12), and other girlfriends, and him whispering in my ear, suddenly sober, “This is the last night you’re going to be sleeping at home.” And me staring into the dark, tightening my arms around him, not knowing what to say as the reality of separation began to sink in. It wasn’t like we were going to leave Goa. We would be just a 15-minute drive away, but in so many ways…worlds apart.
The first few years were ‘turbulent’ at best and that’s all I’m going to say about that 😉 We both had a lot of learning to do. Stuff you don’t get to know unless you live with each other and sometimes not even then. We were both young, temperamental and stubborn and neither of us would shy away from a good old-fashioned fight! We had points to prove and no-one was going to stop us! Over the years, we completed our doctoral studies and eventually moved to Bombay when Hubby took a job with P & G. It was the beginning of a new chapter. We had more money now (gone were those penny-pinching student days ;-)), and nicer houses to live in and for the first time in our lives we were able to indulge our shared passion of traveling! This was crucial to the ‘health of our marriage’, coz it is one of our very very few shared passions 🙂 I wonder sometimes that we were attracted to each other at all…we have practically NOTHING in common! Ask Hubby if you don’t believe me, he’ll be the first one to agree 😛
I like to think we’ve mellowed over the years 🙂 Well certainly some days more than others 😉 We still fight (I see nothing wrong with the occasional good old-fashioned clearing of air & minds!), but they’re nothing as serious as they used to once be and less than half as hurtful. We agree on many more things now and have grown closer through major life experiences, like every other marriage. Moving houses, deaths of people we’ve loved, changing jobs, Ishaan and becoming parents…we’ve been through it all and together we’ve survived. I don’t say this very often and hardly ever in public (it’s just not who I am), but Hubby is the Rock that my Life is built on. Oh I know, we shouldn’t be dependent on another person for our happiness and I’m not the sentimental sort…but hey, if the cap fits! That’s not to say that I’ve ceased to be an independent, intelligent woman, entirely capable of taking care of myself, rather that I enjoy being taken care of by the Man I love and who loves me more, especially on those days that I find it hard to love myself 🙂
I’ve been supremely lucky! (I have a way of being. Trust me, it’s a Saggitarian thing ;-)) I found the Man I love twenty years ago, and he loved me back! And twenty years of Life later, we still feel the same way 🙂 It’s taken blood and sweat and tears but it’s been worth it. I look back and wonder what I would change and honestly…I can’t say that I would change much at all, coz we wouldn’t be who we are today without having been through what we did. And I like who we are today 🙂 Very much 🙂
As I look ahead, I wonder what the next decades will bring. More challenges I have no doubt, some pain (unavoidable) and much happiness (hopefully). Bring it On I say! Together, We’ll Find our Way 🙂
Here’s our song 🙂 Way back from when we could still have rambling, relaxed telephone conversations about…you guessed it…Nothing!! 😉 Hubby’s favorite 😛
Boy! That takes me back! Onwards to 25!!
10 thoughts on “20!”
Happy number 20 darling Harsha and Shiva, you’re an inspiration for Su and I 🙂
You guys have come a long way! Wishing you a wonderful next 20 years ahead!!
Thank you sweetie 🙂 We certainly have come a long way but I guess what makes it worth it, is that it actually feels like such a short time 😉 You & Su are going to have a Blast I know for sure 🙂
Congratulations once again and wishing you many many more decades of smiles, happiness and those cute little once-a-while fights…:-)
Thanks again Meeta 🙂 Our fights are not ‘cute’, but I enjoy them nevertheless 😛
The sheer volume of signature emoticons on your blog always put me in a happy mood somehow 🙂 Happy anniversary to both of you! 20 years! That’s just awesome!
Hahahahah M 🙂 Kya karoon…aadat se majboor hoon 😛 And I confess…they make me happy too!
Thanks M! Can’t believe it myself even now 😛
Oh how i relate to this! I have been married for 13 years, and me and my hubby also have almost nothing in common! 🙂 one thing i have learnt over the years is that no marriages automatically become ‘happily ever after’, one has to make it happen. And it is worth the effort!
your writing style is so smooth and it makes the reader comfortable.
Happy two decades!! 🙂
Hey Tasneem! Thanks for visiting and leaving a comment. You’re very kind! I live for those 🙂 I so agree with you…’happily ever after’ is for fairy tales, ‘happy in the moment’ seems more doable, na 🙂 Loved your ‘Wilderness’ 🙂
You got my eyes moist with this one.
Congratulations on the 20th anniversary!
Thank you so much 🙂 That’s high praise indeed!