Diwali…what lies beneath

Babloo & MeThis year is different…it’s happy-sad, the mood sombre, the festivities low-key…

There’s a darkness in my heart, that no amount of light can fill, the emptiness my brother left behind…this is the first Diwali at home in Goa without him and nothing is the same…

Yes I’ve sent out Diwali greetings to friends and family and yes we took Ishaan to Margao (it’s his first Diwali) and yes on the surface of it all, we had a good Diwali…but…but…such a killer this but! Although Ishaan has brought me great joy, it doesn’t lessen the pain of my brother’s loss…how can it? They are two different people, both unique, both precious but one irrevocably lost…

Monday is ‘Bhaubiz’, a day that celebrates the brother-sister bond. I don’t dare think about it. Have taken the easy way out and will be going to my niece’s so Ishaan can celebrate his first ‘Bhaubiz’ and I can busy myself with him, hoping the joy he brings will drown my sorrow…but…but…there’s that but again…

I knew it would be this way, I’m not an idiot. Was just living in denial for as long as I could…not long enough…not long enough…

I miss you bro…love you hamesha…

2 thoughts on “Diwali…what lies beneath

  1. Hola! I’ve been following your blog for a while
    now and finally got the courage to go ahead and give
    you a shout out from Huffman Texas! Just wanted to
    mention keep up the good work!

    1. Hola! Thank you so much for your kind words! I’ve neglected the blog for a while now – caught up with life-stuff, but a comment like yours is truly motivating 🙂

      I’ve visited my cousin in Austin many years ago…a wonderful city! Thank you once again and have a wonderful weekend 🙂

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