Thursday Thoughts…

Lately I’ve had Roots on my mind – the botanical kind, the metaphorical kind and the ties that bind. Unsurprisingly, all this interest in ‘delving deep’ arises from the fact that they’ve are also the theme of this week’s Take52 Photography Challenge!

I’ve said this before and I’m saying it again – I consider myself the proverbialΒ ‘Rolling Stone’, one that gathers a few bits of moss while otherwise going about merrily on its way. It’s an existence that suits my restless soul, and so the question of being rooted in a place, while occasionally seductive, is never a long-term goal. But as with all things, times change; and with Junior’s schooling to think of, I cannot quite give in to the ‘traveling’ urge whenever it strikes, which is fairly often! Consider the facts – I have lived in one city but changed 4 houses in 10 years! The longest I’ve lived in any house as an adult is 4 years! I’ve grown up in Goa and that’s where I’ve lived the largest chunk of my life so far, and yet, I cannot and do not consider it ‘home’. Not in the way I would like to. It’s my parents’ home, the house I grew up in, became a doctor in, got engaged in, got married from, lost my brother in…but it is still most definitely my parents’ home – NOT mine. So although it’s most certainly the closest thing to home, it isn’t quite the same.

And so it got me thinking about what ‘Roots’ really means? I feel happily rootless for the most part and enjoy the feeling of belonging ‘everywhere in general but nowhere in particular’ πŸ˜› Am I kidding myself? Living in denial? Probably. Should I be concerned at these divagations and get myself a settled life, whatever that means? (Ooh! The very thought sends shivers down my spine!) Or is being ‘Rooted’ just a feeling in our hearts, like Christmas?! I like to think it is – after all haven’t we all been taught, “Home is where the Heart is.” But the heart is unpredictable, a wayward mistress who pulls this way and that, going wherever fancy dictates πŸ˜‰ She is redolent with good intentions but we all know where those may lead πŸ˜› At the moment she has brought me to Bangalore and so I try to grow roots yet again, in another new city! Do you feel ‘rooted’ where you are? And I don’t just mean geographically.

I often feel I’ve been born in the wrong time, the wrong place, the wrong everything – and yet I have no idea at all of what the ‘right’ time and place would look like. At times the restlessness is so acute, it’s hard to find focus. I feel like a caged bird, staring at the open door, my gift of flight forgotten. Maybe it’s the Sagittarian in me – the horse stamping his hooves, chomping at the bit to begin roving. So no…I’m not sure ‘Rooted’ is for me, or that I’ll ever be rooted in place, although Time shows more promise πŸ˜‰ Somewhere deep inside I want to live in Narnia, in Middle Earth – walk among talking beasts and Fauns, commune with Elves and Hobbits and bask in the grace of Aslan πŸ™‚ When I look around me and see the World – ridden with strife and traumatised by the collective abuse of us arrogant humans – I want so desperately for the fantastical to be real. A sanctuary from all the chaos. If wishes were horses eh?

And so I try as best I can to bestill my aching heart, when that wanderlust strikes. And I think about where I might put down roots if I had to. Then I close my eyes and dream – of Narnia πŸ™‚

Skull-quote

9 thoughts on “Thursday Thoughts…

  1. Hi Harsha,
    This is Mita , from MBBS class. I read all your blogs and some of the books. My choice in books sometimes differs and other times coincides with yours. I read today’s blog and two videos came to mind. Hope you will see them. First one is a ted talk by Pico Iyer, Where is home ? and the second one is where is home? A film about third culture kid identity.
    I prefer email to facebook.
    It is great to see and read your blog.
    Mita

    1. Hi Mita! Kashe asa? I heard that Guru is back in GMC – Head of Cardiology? Are you with him? Hope your girls are doing well πŸ™‚

      I was so happy to know you read my Blog πŸ™‚ And I’m doubly glad that you decided to comment…I live for the comments! Will check out the talks…the TED talk I can find online. Do you have a link for the second?

      Great to reconnect Mita! All through MBBS I spelled your name Meeta πŸ˜‰ Thanks again for reading! Stay in touch πŸ™‚

      Love, H.

  2. I understand your rolling stone nature. In 13/14 years, Tony and I have lived in six homes in five states. Where we live now is the first house we’ve bought, and is going on our longest stay in one place. I feel more rooted here than anywhere I’ve previously lived, which is funny, because we are less tied down here – well aside from the house. We can take our jobs anywhere, and yet we stay here. I love it here, and have no desire to leave, but I also always want to explore new places, so travel it is. What I do want more as I get older is a network of good and reliable friends, which is hard to come by when you’re moving frequently. I have good and reliable friends, just not so many who live close.
    Do you think travel will quench your wanderlust some as Junior gets older, or will the itch to keep on keeping on be too much? And what about the Mister? And then there’s always our aging families. I never know what to think I’ll do as our parents officially get old. (My mom turned 59 today!)
    Meanwhile, there’s always solace in books πŸ™‚

    1. I don’t think anything will quench my wanderlust Heather! But I will reign it in out of necessity for the most part, and as long as I can take frequent Holidays I’ll be alright – I hope! Hubby is like-minded in that – he’s rootless too although to him Goa is Home like it can never be for me. Although…never say never and all that! He enjoys travel and I’m trying hard to make Junior love it too. It’s not hard!

      You’re right though…I have fabulous friends but they’re scattered all around the Globe. But I guess good friends are always a support even from afar…at least I console myself with that thought. 6 homes in 5 states huh?! That couldn’t have been easy, but was it fun? Did you enjoy the thought of a new place, a new beginning?

      As for the ageing families…I’m in the middle of one as you know. I’m not close to them and I cannot be of much help other than to listen and financially. Is it better than if I were in another country? Honestly, I don’t know. When I lived abroad I saw them just as much as I do now…makes me wonder…

      A Very Happy Birthday to you Mom πŸ™‚ As for books…I’m reading Barnes at the moment – Levels of Life – so far it’s about ballooning and photography with 3 fascinating characters! A dream! But then he always is πŸ™‚

  3. Harsha i absolutely loved this post!! And i can totally relate! There is a strange restlessness in me. I was born in mumbai, and when i was only six months old, my parents relocated to a new country! And thus began my journey and my wanderlust! As fate would have it, i got married in mumbai ( roots calling may be;)). But my husband has a job where we are transfered every few years. And the longest we have stayed in one city is where we are currently posted! 5years! So ‘rooted’ is very alien for me…..’on the go’ it always is!

      1. No, i don’t feel settled in this town at all, because i can’t relate to anyone here, and we r expecting a transfer this year! :
        The place where i would like to put down roots is Egypt! And my second choice is Surat. And i have strong reasons for both of these.

  4. I understand what you mean completely Tasneem! I’m in Bangalore at the moment and it’s been 6 months now…am slowly getting used to the place. Making friends is hard to do…fingers crossed. I don’t want to move any time soon because of my son’s education…he’s had 3 schools in as many years and he’s not yet 6!

    Egypt is cool! Surat I passed through on our trip to Gir! At least you have places in mind. My favoritest place on Earth is London…but I don’t know for certain whether I could live there! But perhaps we needn’t know all the answers. Perhaps we start the process and allow Life to play out?! Questions, questions!!!

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